The story of my life... waiting :)

Ryan had his appointment last week and we found out that he has something called a varicosele, basically a varicose vein that causes infertility in men.  The varicosele doesn't really change anything for us, we have decided to continue with IVF and possibly pursue surgery after I am pregnant. The doctor said this is an option many patients pursue.  Great news.  However, he ordered some genetic testing to rule out any deletions on the Y choromosome, which takes anywhere from 4-6 weeks to get the results back.  We have a follow up appointment for that on February 13.  This means that our IVF course is getting pushed back at least a few weeks.

Last week, right after our urologist appointment, I had my first true break down. Poor Ryan. He is so awesome for putting up with me but had no idea what to do with me :)  I was better the next day and haven't had any "moments" since, but I am sure they will come.

This Wednesday, I go in for my final tests before starting the IVF course and will be ready to begin after we see the doctor on the 13th.  So for now more waiting....

And the waiting continues...

Its so funny... last night I looked at Ry and said for the past 12 months all I have done is pray that I don't get my period that month, dreading the week I am supposed to get it and track all the symptoms, just in case.  Well, this month I am waiting but I actually WANT to get my period. That means I can continue my testing and start the IVF process. So funny how things change so fast.

I also think my IVF nurse coordinator may think I am nuts... but I think I am ok with it. At our IVF information session she was VERY broad about a time line (any time from now til April).  I being the planner I am was totally not satisfied with that answer the more I thought about it. I called her and they are AMAZING at calling back right away. I told her that she will probably think I am nuts, but I really hope she can give me a better timeline. Well to my shock she says well... looking at your chart (counting) I would say your retrieval would be around the week of February 20, possibly sooner! I am so excited yet scared to death!!!

Stay tuned

Where to begin...

About one year ago, January 9 to be exact, I threw away my birth control pills and my husband and I decided to start "trying" to have a baby. I thought this would be like magic, a month of the pill and I would be pregnant, not so much! After about 3 months of trying I was getting frustrated, my husband insisted it takes 6 months for the birth control to "ware off."

Fast forward to June... still not pregnant, and of course just to mess with our minds a little more I was late, only a day, but that day seems like an eternity when you are waiting to see if you are pregnant.

Our summer, as usual was insane, people who say teachers don't work in the summer they haven't actually met many teachers. Although I worked a lot this summer it wasn't really a job. I began babysitting a close family friends infant triplets and spent about 4 days at a time with them. In the process Stephanie, the triplets mom, and I became extremely close. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation and slap happy conversations, or maybe it was the fact that she just accomplished what I wanted more than anything in the world. The summer passed and still no baby.

When TTC and waiting for the BFP and AF ends up showing up I started reading infertility blogs and chat boards on different websites. The beginning of that sentence may seem like gibberish to many, but it is common talk on these sometimes crazy boards.

In September, I went to a consultation at my gynecologist office, and through a series of really weird events I decided that was not the office I wanted to stay at anymore. AND they said my least favorite line of the entire process, "you are young, it will happen, keep trying." Toward the end of October I switched to another office and met with a midwife who I LOVE. She was sweet informative and best off all said I was trying way too long without any results.

Just before Thanksgiving Ryan and I had our first appointment at SJ Fertility. Over the next few weeks I had 5 different tests done and Ryan had his first semen analysis. Those tests were all interesting in their own right. Through testing, we discovered that Ryan suffers from a severely low sperm count. Our only option would be IVF, in vitro fertilization.

Beginning IVF opens a whole other "can of worms" more testing, waiting, followed by more testing, and oh yeah more waiting :) However, there is, fingers crossed, an end in sight. We have already met with our nurse coordinator and have had a few of the tests done already so now we just wait.

I am starting this blog for me. If someone else wants to read it, okay. Maybe it will help someone going through the same thing as us, awesome. Hopefully someday I can show it to my little girl or boy so they know just how much their mommy and daddy wanted them in their lives, AMAZING.